Sometimes I feel myself stopping in the middle of the day, ‘waking up’ and asking myself, what have I been doing today? and I find it really hard to remember.

I never seem to be able to catch up with the world. Regardless of how much I try to capture a moment, the world keeps spinning, and everything keeps changing.

But this fact does not scare me away from trying.

An old Capoeira friend once told me
“Dorme muito, pouco aprende, Capoeirista tem que dorme pouco”.

If you sleep a lot, you learn very little. A capoeirista should only sleep a little.

There always seems to be the constant re-evaluation of who I am, and who I am in the world. These questions constantly emulate for me within the roda.

Myself, the other person and the environment.

So many people ask me what they should be focusing on when they are in the roda.
So I ask them what should you be focusing on when you walk down the street?

There are a hundred and one things that you can be focusing on, there are many things you should be focusing on. But to really get the most out of everything, quite simply you need to focus on everything and nothing at all.
It’s like a friend tells me:
Where is the mind?

That said, here is a little test for your enjoyment:

I believe people are generally selective learners, like selective hearing, if they know what they are looking for, generally anything that is within that scope of knowledge they will try and learn. Everything else is secondary or not seen or heard at all. But if you are not focusing on any one thing, if you can relax the mind but still be in a state of readiness, if you can be willing to adapt and take in everything, then your mind is then on its way to training awareness.

This is my understanding of Malandragem. The pliability of thought, the lucidity of decision, a way of living.

monday 9th/2/04

Today I survived one of the scarest classes of my life. Without a doubt, just one of the many to come. I really havent felt fear like that for a long time. Bamba started off with people ginga with each other and then got one person to fake a queixada, the other person goes into rasteira the ´wrong side´ and then the fake queixsada turns into a chapa giratorio. This was done for about ten minutes and then the class split into two groups. had one partner and you took in turns doing the fake/attack whilst playing a game of capoeira. As soon as you pulled it, the next two went in. The person not doing the fake/attack is trying to rasteira the other whilst the fake/attack person is doing low golpes to try and entice the other person in. Then we joint together and made one roda where you had to use a fake and then another golpe, (any one you chose). This was so scary, You had five to ten seconds for you to wait for someone to try and trick you or you try and trick the other person. If you didnt succeed you missed the gap. I got meia lua de compasso in the temple, which hurt like hell, but I kept on playing.

CONQUER THE FEAR

Each time I went in, I was trying to conquer my fear and keep my focus. I was in a zone, that if i let my guard down for one second, I would have collapsed in a pitiful heap. With everyone from the most beginner to advanced student their, I didnt hold back and gave them all I had. I almost scared myself, but I could always feel that fear that I had now pushed down into my stomach. I kept pushing forward, and many times I felt a raw rumble of energy and ruthlessness that I havent felt before. Finally the class finished and the creases in my forehead eased. I thanked god I survived, and was in a bit of an airy state for a while afterwards.

Bamba had a talk to everyone after the class, and told us that everyone has a potential lying deep inside of them, everyone has a mission and a place that they must seek, and thing they must find, a mission they must succeed, however, if you have fear, you will never reach any of these things, you will always fall short. If you fear injury, if you fear expectations, if you fear failure, you will never succeed in what you have the potential to accomplish.

Walking down the street to buy a coffee I was trying to think of how to introduce myself to mestre carlos. I walked up this dirty street of london, filled with run down shops and small delis. It was a beautiful day as the sun was shining few clouds were out and the suns rays glinting off of the street trying to make it seem a little more beautiful. I lifted my head and saw this old guy probably in his fifties walking down the street with a capoeira shirt on carrying a backpack. I asked him whether he was the mestre, and he said he was. I didnt know what to say, it was all happening too fast, I mumbled out some kind of story and he looked at me hesitantly. He stood there momentarily and then started to explain to me that the people in his class today were mostly beginners, so I may not get that much out of the class but I am most welcome in coming for the class if I wanted. I sighed in relief on the inside as i said I will see him soon.

I kept walking up the street looking for a coffee shop. I couldnt find one and thought that it would probably be better for me to get some juice anyway. I walked back towards the academy with juice in hand and not knowing what to expect. As I entered the classroom I saw probably 6 or so people stretching in the room. They all turned around and stared at me, as if a spotlight had spontaneously appeared out of nowhere and decided to make me the subject of attention. They all continued on with stretching, still gazing at me, but no one thinking of coming up to me and introducing themselves. I went and huddled into my little corner and started stretching a bit. We started the class, and I could instantly feel the Sao Paulo style come out. His movements similar to some sao paulo styles mixed with muzenza style. Reminding me of some of the movements that simon in canberra had taught me from some of Burgues’s classes.

MESTRE CARLOS CLASS
Some nice basic movements, as well as some nice thoughtful combinations. He corrected some of my foot positioning, telling me the various reasons for why they put this foot here or that position there which were all very interesting to learn about. We then had a roda and they learnt this song that all of you would have given up on in the first four lines. It was a mega song that I even found daunting. It was funny though, cause about half the class could speak portuguese for some reason. We had a roda and it was fairly awkward for me as all of the beginners were kinda wierd with no timing or coordination, so I had to be extremely careful in what I did as well as for crazy movements flying from every which direction.

The roda ended with a bit of samba de roda which was nice, and then the mestre invited me to go with him and his group to a batizado. I was sort of caught by suprise, and thought well, why not. So we all hopped on this bus and had a good chat to some of the students there. They were all really nice people and really cared deeply about there mestre and there group. I felt a real family thing was going on, and that the mestre was a very caring and gentle man. He had built a small little group that he had come to love and respect as much as they love and respected him.

THE MUZENZA BATIZADO
We got off the bus, and proceeded to walk around the streets of london, trying to find this unknown place. They asked me for a map as they were all lost, and we walked around this huge block, and almost ended up where we originally were when we finally found this academy. I walked into this small studio with about fifty people packed onto terraces watching, and about thirty students sitting down in a roda. The studio lights were on, so it almost looked like a small theatre stage production. There were about 15 instructors and mestres all standing up proud and singing and playing. I couldnt believe that i was here, amongst it all, about to face all of these instructors and mestres by myself!

I walked in, and got a lot of strange looks and turns of heads as I went to sit down. I was weariing the red challenge pants which was funny, as everyone else was pristine white. I put down my things and saw this contra mestre I knew, called contra mestre axe. He welcomed me with a big smile and a hug, and was really pleased to see me. I sat down in the roda for a while and watched the games being played. It was very typical muzenza style, with all of the movements and various combinations that they use. It reminded me of watching countless videos in my apartment over and over again.

I was still feeliing quite left out by this stage, as no one had tried to introduce themselves to me or anything. Axe called over the instructor of the muzenza group and told him to introduce me. He stopped the roda and told everyone who I was and where I had come from. I sort of stood up clumsily, trying to look the part as if I was important, gave my little queen elizabeth wave and smile and went and stood with all of the other instructors. We then went into the roda playing people who were getting there cords.

I went in and played with this girl and as soon as I went in I could feel this heavy stare as everyone was watching me intently. I clapped out and felt the pressure ease. I have never felt anything like it before. This unconcious energy I felt pushing me from all sides, it was so wierd. I just played my game and blocked everything else out. We then were all invited into playing in the open roda. I took a deep breath and could just hear budas voice in my head telling me, that I had to get in there and play, and keep playing and keep playing and keep playing no matter what happens. That is how you earn respect.

So I went in and played this guy with a typical muzenza style. The game was quite chilled out, I could see him applying some slight pressure to see what I had, but I lightly brushed it off, as I felt quite secure in my game and what I could do. I could still feel that everyone was watching me, wondering where the hell I had come from and what I was doing here. But I kept going playing my game and keeping my head.

It was all over in a blink of an eye and as everyone was getting up to leave, all of the instructors and mestres hung around to eat and have a chat. I eventually met everyone, and for the first time, I felt as if I was accepted into a capoeira community. It was a wierd feeling, but it was great to finally feel welcome. Everyone invited me to come and visit there classes and later on we all went to a pub and sat down and chatted. As I was walking home I felt a warm fuzzy feeling engulf me, as I hazily wondered home, dazed and amazed at what I had just been through.

One of the most beautiful attributes of capoeira is its ability to adapt. It is in the non-committing, loosely phrased, sneaky way of the brazilian culture that glues the game together.

“Tira de la bota ca, Tira daqui bota li”
Take it from there and put it here, take it from here and put it there…

Capoeira is many things at once

Within its movements interchanging, merging, constantly becoming; capoeira seems to expand and contract, give and receive, question and answer.

Capoeira is who we are

Capoeira is a way I express myself. With all my faults, with all my attributes. Capoeira helps me to be human.

RODA AT MESTRE BOA GENTE”S ACADEMY

This footage is a game I saw in Boa Gente’s Academy in Salvador, Bahia Brazil in 2004.
I love this game so much, because it really epitomises the game of adaptation. I find it so beautiful because they keep the flow and communicate with each other without ever really committing to any one movement. I find adapting is one of the hardest aspects of capoeira to master, but it is one of the most important to try and maintain. If you can learn to adapt, it will resonate into every aspect of your life.

We walked down the cobbled stoned streets of the pelourinho, luminecent and glowing with energy. our fate however, lied within the darkness of the night sky and the spiradic glints of twinkly stars. Our destiny lay within the mystery, for better or worse. We were off again to visit some more groups of capoeira. We all squished into Mestre bamba’s car like a sandwich, and drove up around the corner. Mestre Bamba parked the car.

My heart froze.
I thought I had some kind of words to say, but when I opened my mouth, nothing came out. We were in front of topazio. All I could say was with a voice of utter disbelief was ‘Topazio?’
and all my mestre could do to reassure me was reply- ‘topazio’.

RESPECT TOPAZIO

Topazio was one of those groups of capoeira everyone talks about with the utmost sincerity. They would be laughing and joking around about something completely random, but if someone was to mention the word topazio everyone in the room would turn around and their facial expressions would instantly change. As if reassuring themselves that you had mentioned that word they say ‘Topazio? oh yeah, those guys are gooood’. Screwing up their face with a painful expression, part pain, part fear.

Mestre Bamba once whilst we were watching tv and eating lunch, put on a batizado tape of topazio and I instantly started tensing up. I began to actually feel fear even though I was sitting and watching these guys play on a TV. They were huge! and literally tearing each other to pieces. It was amazing to watch. This group was notorious for having the biggest capoeiristas in Bahia, who loved to fight. So as I stepped out of Bamba’s car, everything around me went black and all I could see was the academy before me with the lit logo of grupo topazio staring at me from above.

ENTERING THE ACADEMY

From the car to the entrance I gave my mind a pep talk. I was ready for this, I had prepared, I had been training hard and many hours for this moment. The real test of my capoeira abilities. No matter who I saw in this academy before me, I will meet them with focus and determination and the want, the pure want to survive and play well. I stepped through the door and the first guy I saw was an absolute humungous beast of a man. He was half caste, literally twice as wide as me, taller, and built like a steam train. His shaved head, neck like a bull, and his muscles that bulged from places I’ve never seen before, led me to believe this guy was kinda large.

I focused my attention on the academy, It was around twenty metres deep and nearly 10 metres wide. A very decent sized academy. The floors, walls and ceilings were tiled, except for the roda in the middle which was like sandpaper. At the end of the room, a full gym was set up, complete with three boxing bags and a few mean looking guys hitting them to match.

We sat and stretched in the corner with Bamba, as a few more people arrived. As I was stretching I started to focus on some of the techniques I had been learning over the past couple of days. I settled my mind and kept reassuring myself I was ready for this. We were finally called over to form the roda after taking for what seemed ages. The berimbau began.

THE BATTLE WITHIN

The first thing I noticed was how differently their game was played. Not so much in the movements but in the strategy behind them. They distanced themselves quite a lot and waited most of the time for the other person to advance before they go in for the kill. Instantly my perception of this group changed, not so drastically that I was naive enough to open my game, but the reality of the game was more apparent. I entered the roda ready for everything to happen, but nothing did. He played capoeira with me but was not challenging in any way shape or form. We played our games with each other, at quite a distance, rarely moving in together to play capoeira close. The next game and the next, I kept fighting myself, to change my game and lose the preconception that these guys were invincible, because they were also fallible just like any other capoeirista.

I found myself in my game, and was happy with what I was doing. I faced these guys, overcoming more so the battle within, than the external battle. With that said, I now understood what mestre bamba said. “survive a roda with topazio, and you will survive in any roda around the world”. and it was true. I walked out of that academy as if I had smelt fresh air for the first time. I felt a deep happiness swell up inside me and a satisfaction I haven’t felt for a long time. As we walked to the car, the night sky darkly wrapped around our reality, with but only the mysterious stars to light the way.

His Berimbau cried.
As his voice roared.
Music vibrating from his body.
Capoeira seeping from his skin.

Mestre moraes’s berimbau will vibrate in my soul forever.

CAPOEIRA FEAR
I once asked my Martial arts instructor, Sifu Nino Pilla, how can I overcome fear?

As his quietly calm words flowed from his experience and wisdom, little did either of us know how much I would use this advice in all aspects of my life’s challenges.

Imagine that you have grown a garden. It is a beautiful garden that has taken much time and care to grow and create. The colours of the flowers are vibrant and flourishing, the grass is green and the garden is lush. Then one day a weed begins to grow. Even though it is a little weed, it must be given the necessary attention and be taken out.

It is only when you do not maintain your garden that the weeds begin to take over. No matter what you do to your garden, you will never be able to rid the weeds once and forever. But if you work on that garden everyday, it will come to the point where it feels seemingly effortless to maintain.

It is when you give the weeds too much power, by making them sound bigger than they really are, or giving them water, fueling them, that is when you will begin to really have problems.

So, do not give your fears power, do not fuel them. All of your bad habits are just weeds, weeds that just need a little maintenance.

You know, my mestre always said to me, if you want to be better than the brazilians, it is possible, you should never think it isn’t, all you need to do is train three times harder.

The more I thought about this the more I saw that the world of capoeira is expanding at an enormous rate. The idea of the capoeiristas being better than others purely on the basis that they are brazilian is an old idea slowly coming to an end.

How good a capoeirista is depends on the person themself, not the race, background or social position.

I remember doing a thai boxing seminar with the legendary Ajarn Surachai “Chai” Sirisute, the head of the united states thai boxing association. He always pointed out in his seminars:

“if they can do you can do. We are all the same.”

Everyone has the potential to become something way beyond their means, all you need to do is make that change:
NOW.

Reach for the stars and believe you can do anything.

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