We all hesitate at first, not knowing exactly how to take it and then we all dive in, the beat of the berimbau buzzing at our feet.  We all begin to play as if we had fire at our feet, tearing around the roda, fighting our nerves trying to think trying to conserve energy whilst playing as best we could.  i dove in trying to rememver that this was our day, trying to remember how to shine.  I cut in two, three, four times, each time getting progressively harder, my legs starting to feel like led, my breath getting heavier and heavier.  i got chapa one, two, three times in a row.  A big no no in the world of capoeira.  I could see that the guy was out to prove his worth, not comfortable with his own image, I was not going to get dragged down the same hole.  I took the kicks (which were quite light anyway) and smilled at him accepting what had just happened and moved on.  I was not going to lose my head, lose my concentration.  I couldnt afford to. 

Listen to the Mestre within

I listened to bamba in my head and kept my focus on the game.  After cutting in again and playing three guys in a row Mestre bamba stopped the roda and called me over to play three capoeiristas as the final test in the troca de cordas.  He called rubens, dinho, and orelha for me to play.  I took a deep breath, this was it, this is what dreams were made of.  I thought about my past batizados and how I approached the decisive moments in each one respectively.  My legs were feeling heavy and I could already feel my body shutting down.  I entered into the roda with all the strength I had.  I had worked out that topazio liked to play at a distance in the initial stages of the game and will judge, your timing, the certain types of reactions you have to the movements they are doing before they move in for the kill.  Only if you are caught in a tight spot will they advance a second time in the same instance. Usually they would go in hit and draw back to wait for the reaction. 

Focus your Capoeira

Rudsons focus on the game was unmatched, his fakes into attacks that missed were almost like small trials on his behalf to see how I would retaliate.  But I didnt, I stood my ground and tried to play my game.  He started to try and get me to fall over through vingativas and then tried to enter with some jujitsu holds.  As I was backing away from a knee, I popped my head up and went back into ginga.  I instantly felt a huge wack against the side of my face.  I stumbled backwards trying to regain my posture.  He had given me a martelo with such beautiful timing and precision.  I had no idea on how it got through and what had just happened.  My right side of my face went numb and I could taste the blood in my mouth.  The first fear that came to mind was my nose was going to bleed.  if it did I wouldnt be able to live up to my potential.  Everyone crowded around me whilst bamba checked I was alright.  i nodded, shaken more than anything from the whole ordeal.  I went back in to the roda still shocked from the kick, not really knowing if I was okay or not.  But I knew I had to keep going.  I had to prove to myself I could achieve anything I put my mind to. 

Capoeira nao pode cair

We enter once again, we move around the roda like lighting, each giving nothing away.  I could feel him softening because of the kick he gave me.  I didnt want that to happen.  I had taken a hard hit, and I was prepared to take more, as many as it would take to find out who I really was and where I really stood in the capoeira world.  He went in for a fake meia lua de frente and even though our distance was too far, I ripped in with a turing chapa that hit, but was cushioned a bit by his foresight.  He acknowledged the kick and we kept ginga until I was called over to play with mestre orelha.  i was worn out and still dazed, wondering if i was concussed or if it was just the adrenalin, mestre bamba rushed me to the bathroom quickly and threw some water over me, washed off the blood and threw a bit of ice on my neck.  Dalva was shouting to stop me from playing, bamba was shouting back no, no, he is capoeira, he can pay, he can do it.  Mestre bambas confidence in me gave me confidence in myself.  I knew that I could go on, I was going to be alright.  No matter how tired I was, thirsty, In pain, the faith that bamba had in me is what drove me.  His faith triggered my perception to change, my thoughts and attitude to change, which gave me the strength to keep going.  I was doing this for myself, for all of the years of pain and training, for me to find my next level and stand proud amongst those who too have gone through blood and tears to reach the stars I have reached.  I went back in, this time I was fighting my endurance, my awareness, my body. It was as if everything was starting to shut off and I had to within myself, frantically keep turning everything back on.  I kept playing my game a little more restricted, not pulling off so many kicks, not giving away anything, my mind fixed on my opponents every move.  And with that dinho shook my hand, babma yelled iee! and it was over.  I could hardly beleive I had done it, I had survived!  Bamba talked to everyone about how his treatment to brazilians and foregners are one and the same, because if it wasnt he would be teaching the foregners a false capoeira.  He also said that he would like to acknowledge how hard it really is for a foregner to come all the way to brasil and learn something completely different to ones own culture and reach a standard as I had in the world of capoeira.  Mestre Dinho and Rudson agreed and like a magician, bamba pulled out a bright red cordao from thin air and with a huge smile and tears in both our eyes he wrapped jmy cordao around my waist.  As we hugged I felt an overwhelming energy vibrate through my body and knew the world was never going to be the same again.

about four or five years ago… I flew across these beautiful mountains, lush with vegatation and amazing rock formations, I flew this way and that, riding on the winds gentle wings, breathing the freshness of the air.  I slid above the river through well formed rock pools.  I followed its infinite sound in the contrasting shadows of small cliff face formations surrounding.  I saw myself bathing in the rock pools letting the water trickle off my feet finding solace in the sensation.  I flew through the air, following the river and its sound.  But as soon as I turned the corner there was a river no more.  Nothing but space.  A huge waterfall slid off the cliffs edge, the fall of the water so tall that the water would not even reach the bottom, rather it would dissapate into thin air! A massive valley with distant trees around a huge open space with nothing but air, rainbows and butterflies.  I fly over the edge and float down gently, like the air was a deep blue sea and I was sinking slowly.  I let the wind take me, throwing me higher and higher, past the world, past the stars, until I reach nothingness.  Silence.  Peace.  And I fall.  Slowly at first then faster and faster towards the earth, past the clouds towards the ground.  I wake up.  I am in my bed, it was just a dream.  But it seemed so real.  I get ready for school, kiss mum and dad goodbye and leave my house feeling refreshed from such a beautiful dream.

30th of March 04

Tish! tish! tish! rhythmically goes my caxixi as I run up a neverending ascent towards the hiking trail soon to be conquered.  Sweat beading off my forehead as the sun was beating down upon my body with no remorse.  Pin, seeping into my calves as the hill gets steeper and steeper, longer and longer.  My vision impaired by the sweat dripping off my face.  My mind rock set on training.  Tish! tish! tish! breathing gets too hard as i walk for a bit.  My mind pushing to keep running my body not responding.  I force myself up the hill seeing the many different visions of what was to happen in my batizado.  i found my mind exploring so many different situations, so many circumstances, where I could see myself kicking and being kicked.  Falling and taking down.  The thoughts driving my legs harder my arms a little faster.  I reach the top of the hill and stretch my legs out.  The sun was getting hot making my skin feel slowly but surely more and more burnt.  It was time to face the trek.  The first stretch of the hill was quite steep and enduring.  The path gave me some shocking dee ja vu as it was so similar to the grampians.  The colour of the rocks even similar structure in the trail.  Because of the steep ascent beautiful vistas were exploding all around me, the surrounding mountains lush with greenary gave me an inner peace a feeling of a stronger connection between me and the world.  My legs were feeling like lead, as if I was trying to run fast in waist deep water.  With each step came strain, and with the strain came memories, miscellaneous moments in my capoeira journey to date.  As the mountain began to plateau the physical enduring part of my journey had come to an end.  i seemed to walk for miles my mind wandering in and out of capoeira situations various highlights of my life, love, hard times, lonely times, enduring times. 

Preparing the mind, Preparing the soul

I kept focusing on the batizado.  I could see myself playing capoeirista after capoeirista, my mind exploring every takedown, every kick, every hit possible, the repercussions and the state of mind I could fall into and should be in.  I saw the biggest of capoeiristas to the fastest each one with a monsterous determination to take me off my rails.  I heard bambas words of advice float through my head, which had such a power that just a few words could completely change my game and situation but most important my perception.  The scenery around me complimented my thoughts cooling my pressures, rebuilding my inner energy, cleansing my soul.  through small muddy mashes to lush open plains I kept walking following my feet, following my destiny the sun was beating down upon my shoulders which made me even more lerthargic.  When was this track going to end? I kept pushing forward as i delved into some of my deeper fears. What if I failed? what if I could not last the distance what if I was hit so badly I could not go on? All of these doubts started filling my head, one triggering off another and then another.  And then some butterflies flew in front of me.  One with a rich yellow in the centre fading into a pure white around its sides the other with such a beautiful deep rich red I held my breath as they flew by.  I then knew that no matter what happened that whatever I acheive it will be what stage I am ready for, what I am desered for and I will be satisfied because I would have acheived the level of capoeira that I had prepared myself for.  If I was to only get a blue cord it would be because that level is what I am truly ready for and I should be satisfied with that.  if I get hit hard or knocked out or whatever happens there will always evolve growth from it, an unforgettable experience, something to tell the grand kids. 

Capoeira is in nature

And with the next corner and slight descent I could hear the sound of rushing water.  I hurried along excited and impatient.  I saw ian standing high atop a hill looking over an enormous valley, I filmed him for a bit and then went down to the river to get a closer look.  The water was a deep red brown glistening colour running its beauty slowly over the texturous rocks surrounding.  The small stream was engulfed by small jolting cliff faces only a couple of stories high which were in turn surrounded by trees, bushes and lush greenary atop of hilly terrain.  I climbed down to the river and walked along the edges to see what was around the corner.  The water was cool and so refreshing evertime I ran my hand through it, I felt cleansed as if it was holy water.  As I turned the corner all I could see was space, beautiful air.  A huge open valley that opened like the heavens, with the water running off its edge into infinity.  The beautiful butterflies tumultously flying through past me, past the river, engulfed by space.  They were taken by the sweet wind blown higher and higher until they disappeared into the air.  The rich river ran off the edge encatured by small cliffs jolting out the sides providing cool shade for our burnt shoulders.  The wind made specks of water fly up from the waterfall it was the most surreal sensation to feel it rain upwards.  Water felt like fairydust sliding off my skin.  The sound of crashing water overlooking an incredible valley combined with the sense of a real achievement reaching this almost sacred place.  It was so beautiful.  I slid towards the edge popping my head, over to watch the water fall beyond eyesight.  The drop so far it made me feel dizzy.  I stripped down to my bathers and showered below a smaller waterfall near by.  The water was so refreshing its beautiful qualities seeping in deeper than my skin, sinking its way into my soul.  The heavy water relaxed my shoulders and washed away all my thoughts.  It was as if it was cleansing away al of the tensions all of the tribulations we had been through in salvador.  I climbed up the cliff face a little and found a small opening to climb through to go around and sit over the valley.  As soon as I went around the corner, literally still metres from the waterfall the crashing sound from the waterfall decreased hugely and the energy of the place completely charged.  the waterfall had a hugely chared cleansing energy, whereas the place I was now in, literally metres away felt so serene, so peaceful, so beautiful.  I felt my mind wander into infinity.  I watched the clear water slide off the edge of the cliff drop by drop.  Slowly, rhythmically each drop eventually finding its home on the mossy surface below I watched the beautiful butterflies for what seemed like hours, these tiny insects adding so much life to this vast valley.  I stared into the blue sky reaching further than I could ever imagine.  I sat in this peaceful place as if I was a part of it, a part of the cliff, the moss, the drops of water as if I was one of the butterflies, as if I was one of the butterflies, as if I was the valley itself.  I closed my eyes and felt the gentle wind blow upon me and felt with my soul the place I had just discovered. It was getting late, so I journeyed on home.  Walking back a new.  My mind was clear and my thoughts, were crisp, I could feel a new energy had entered me and in the journey home it sunk in.  I arrived home at dark and hit the bed.  I could hardly wait for what the next day would bring.

Cabaca and nigrete took me out to a breakfast place and we chatted about my upcoming adventures in england and the world.  As I was walking back to the academy I could feel the day dawning into a beautiful one, full of sun and heat.  The day had finally at last come, and I felt I was ready.  I could feel my focus, I could feel the energy.  I jogged my mind through a few situations I may encounter along the way, as I had done a thousand times before, over the previous week. The air was calm and after a few stretches and warm ups I went and sat down by myself and looked out the window.  I was completely in the moment, I was not fearing what was to come, more so eager with anticipation to meet this amazing challenge, head on.  I still did not know whether i was to be getting my blue or red cordao, so there was much expectation as well as invisible pressure.  I had delved and dealt with those demons the week beforehand so they were, thankgod, not so apparent on the day.  My mind focused, my body ready our batizado commenced.  Slowly but surely more and more mestres, instructors and professores rocked into the academy.  It was almost as if they were lining up, one by one to try and break our confidence.

Australians at the Associacao de Capoeira Mestre Bimba 2004

10, 15, 21 people counted here and ready to play, and more still arriving.  Mestre borracha, mestre baixinho, mestre curio, mestre dinho, mestre orelha, contra mestre toni amongst others.  I thought of everyone back at home and instantly I felt a good energy pass through my body.  I could feel the love in the air from all of the people who were a part of the associacao.  They were all such an instrumental role in our growth and development over the two months that we had spent training there.  I could feel a nervousness and worry that they had for us, which really made me undersand how much they cared for us.  So many good times with the boys, through good times and bad we all went through them together creating a bond greater than ever.  Bamba commenced talking a bit about himself and how he grew up, into such a huge responsibility that  he has today.  He also talked about the various things the associacao was doing in terms of today.  He then passed on the microphone onto each of the other mestres who each said a word or two about themselves and there group.  As I was sitting listening and watching, I could feel a nervousness from bamba as well; I didnt know exactly why he was nervous, I guess it was a mixture of things, only time could tell.

 The Capoeira waiting game 

I went through phases of tiredness, focus, nervousness but mostly going through in my head ways to be able to change my mood in the roda if I got stuck in fear or anger.  I was preparing myself for war.  The various presentations began.  Puxada de rede, maculele and then the kids from jaqueras batizmo.  I tried to relax and enjoy the puxada de rede and maculele, but my mind seemed to be focused on the moment of the batizado.  I must have looked like a zombi as my expression was blank and staring into infinity most of the time.  Our time arrived, mestre bamba called us to the pe da roda one by one to recieve our batizado names. I was first called over to play with Mestre Dinho from topazio.  During the presentations he had arrived with profesor rudson.  Dinho at 54 years old, rough face with a barrelled body, with years of beatings and beating.  He reminded me of a short maui.  you could feel his presence in the room, the greatness of experience he has ventured through.  Like a famous persons body guard, professor rudson follows.  A perfect image of a capoeirista in his prime.  His muscles and body structure complete and porportunate to the rest of his stature.  his face at one with attentiveness and awareness.  Ready for anything, his aura one that radiates a type of domination over his personal indifferences with him himself.  At the time I had no idea that it was professor rudson, all I saw was a really tough looking capoeirista.  As I entered the roda with mestre dinho my mind fixed, my body ready my heart open.  I found myself in  a mind game.  Every advancement, every movement a test, no huge amounts of physical force, just judgements, just perception.  It was as if by call and response we were conversing, dinho asking the questions and myself responding accordingly.  I was at constaant war with myself, continuously changing my focus between my own actions as well as dinho.  it was as if I was simultaneously passing between my body and his, trying to understand both his intentions and mine.  As time went by I could feel him closing in.  By tradition, it is the mestres duty to try and prevent the student from recieving his cord or batizado name.  By giving quedas and trips it will show the audience how ready the capoeirista really is to move forward into the next level of capoeira.  I could feel the pressure being pushed slowly more and more, I hardened my mind, closing in, my concentration squeezed tighter and tighter as kicks and various tentitive quedas were applied.  they were not too hard to get out of, what was hard was to keep thinking about the game and the bigger picture, showing dinho that I too had the ability to put pressure on him whilst recieving pressure.  I waivered in and out of reflexes, sometimes just getting out of the way but sometimes using my mind to find an interesting way to respond so as to make him also have to think.  Dinho shook hands with me and we went to the side of the roda. When bamba asked what was my nickname to be, his face went blank for a moment, he looked at my hair and said, cabelo arrepiado, which means hair that stands on end, and from there on, I had been baptized by the famous mestre dinho. 

The Roda of Capoeira is in the mind 

I felt so relieved but yet so energized by the game I had played.  I had played a game that I have always dreamed of playing meeting the huge challenge that was before me and coming out of it a better person.  Mestre bamba in the training before the batizado the monday before emphasised greatly that no matter who steps up to play you see them as a capoeirista and not by there fame as a capoeirsita.  I watched the others play one by one, still dazed and amazed that everything was already happening. I t seemed all too fast.  Watching each australian fight there demons was amazing to watch.  All of their training, all that they had learnt both physically and mentally was amazng to watch all come out at once.  Their pure determination seeped from their skin.  One by one, we played and watched each other, judging our opponents games, trying to find holes and attributes.  The room was not as full as expected thankfully enough, it was hard enough to breath as it was.  Dozens of children from jaquera, a handful of spectators and around 30 capoeiristas packed to the sides and behind the berimbau.  Luckily enough their was enough space to distance oneself and move around the roda easily enough.  We were then all called to play cutting each other out and playing Capoeira, not capoeira regional. 

The berimbau turned on and the singing errupted, my breating became heavier, trying to grasp that extra little bit of air before the pounding that was about to come.  We all hesitate at first, not knowing exactly how to take it and then we all dive in, the beat of the berimbau buzzing at our feet. To be continued